June 29, 2010

Breaking the news – part 2

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 12:38 pm by Amy

Telling everyone we’re getting married is a little bizzare. Normally I’m the type of person that relishes in all the attention and general fussing-over that comes with this sort of thing, but there are some things that I’ve found really annoy me about breaking the news.

1. When people cry (and it’s not grandma).

2. When people hum the Bridal Chorus. *I loathe the Bridal Chorus.

3. When the barrage of questions come in (the where are you having it? did you pick colors yet?)

4. When they ask how he proposed. Um, yeah. Not going to go there.

5. When people immediately ask if they’re invited.

6. When people offer to plan your wedding for you. (My inner Martha says NO!)

7. When people immediately start giving you suggestions. (Unless I ask for them – or you’re name is David Tutera – I think I’m good)

8. When people say “Oh, yeah, don’t ask me for help – I’m too busy”

9. When people say “You’re getting married?” and it sounds like I am going to contract the plague.

10. When people act jealous.

What I’d really like is “Congratulations – if you need help with anything feel free to ask.” OR even just congratulations! Really, is it that hard? I guess it’s because we feel compelled to know every, single detail to live vicariously through that person because we’re secretly a little masochistic and either we don’t know or forget how stressful this really is. Luckily most of my good friends have been really supportive and have offered to help me with this, that and the other thing. I’m eternally grateful for that.

*Okay, so the Bridal Chorus. It is used in just about every wedding I’ve ever been to. Either that or Pachabel’s Canon. Yeah that annoys me to, but it’s not as easily hummed as the Bridal Chorus. I’m all about tradition (okay, well maybe not) – I can appreciate tradition, but I appreciate creativity more. That video of the people dancing down the aisle? GENIOUS! I wish I would’ve thought of that! I might see if we can get some sort of chant situation going when we’re all making our way down the aisle.

The imagery I associate it with (the Bridal Chorus) is nothing short of the patriarchy dominating over women and reducing them to nothing more than a peice of property to be handed to the next owner – you know, like buying a used car.

On top of that – when my brother and I were young my mom decided for a brief while she would make dolls. She bought these little buttons that when you pushed them they’d play music. Even as a kid, for one reason or another I couldn’t stand the Bridal Chorus. I don’t know why, but it just bothered me. Well my little brother took this as his opportunity to really grate on my last nerve and chased me around the house pushing the button of that damn thing playing the Bridal Chorus. Eventually we were fighting in my bedroom and somehow the little button broke, fell behind my bed (where I couldn’t get it) and continued to play non-stop only at a reduced speed and a little off.

I was FURIOUS!

My mother thought it was hysterical and she left it there for a while until she finally pulled the bed out and got the annoying little thing.

I hate the Bridal Chorus. I hate it I hate it I hate it!

Luckily my dear friends have agreed to play violin and flute at our ceremonies. YAY! That makes me a happy Amy.

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