June 14, 2010
The importance of Budgeting
I’ll admit right off the bat – budgeting was not always my strong suit. It took years of making pretty big financial mistakes (shopping sprees and international trips) to finally learn my lesson about creating a budget and sticking to it – and thankfully it became habit well before Garry and I decided to get married.
One of the biggest issues couples fight over is money. In serious cases (as in when coupled with bad communication) it can lead to divorce if not corrected before marriage.
The wedding usually is the first very large budgeting situation that couples will find themselves in (unless, of course, they purchase a house or make other large financial decisions beforehand) and it can teach a newly engaged couple really how to handle finances responsibly (or it can go horribly wrong and the couple can end up with MASSIVE amounts of debt – which makes no one a happy panda).
While I know not everyone will agree with me – it’s my belief that a couple should never go into debt over their wedding. The lessons in saving for something special and the use of control over one’s spending habits (and the communication of how the money is going to be spent) is invaluable and makes for a financially stable household. There is no good reason to start a marriage in the red (long-term debt like student loans, or in the case of some – a mortgage are exempt from this). I think people forget that a wedding is not about how much bling or flowers you can fit into a day – but it’s about making a life-long commitment to the one person in the world that you love more than anyone else.
In this day and age where you can get anything and everything on credit, couples are spending on average $19,581 on their big day or in a range from $14,686 to $24,476 – according to www.averageweddingcost.com. This does not include the cost of a honeymoon or the engagement ring. More information on the site, plus a wedding cost estimator calculator.
Think about that – nearly $25,000! That’s a good down-payment on a house! Or a brand-new car! Spent all on one day!
Garry and I decided that we absolutely did not want to go into debt over our handfasting or our wedding. Actually – with the plans we have put into place – we’ll be completely debt free (excluding my student loans and his Jeep will be almost paid off) by the time we get married in September of next year.
Our budget (for our handfasting) is hovering around $1,000 (included in that is a plane ticket for Garry’s best man which comes in around $300) and our wedding budget is around $5,000 (but it’s looking more like we’ll only need $4,000) for the portion that we’re paying for* (also including another $300 plane ticket).
(*We are very fortunate that my parents have graciously decided to pick up the tab for the venue, catering and beverages)
Setting up a budget is actually pretty easy. All you have to do is take your monthly income and subtract all of your bills (rent or mortgage, utilities, groceries, transportation – etc.) and you’ll have an amount that’s left over. See if there’s anywhere you can cut costs. A while ago we were wondering why we had very little money at the end of the month. We realized after looking at our ledgers that we would spend over $400 on food a month! For two people! We cut our grocery bill almost in half and stopped eating fast food – which adds up REALLY quickly) and have faired a little better. In my case, I have an average of $600 a month after bills to pay for things like groceries and gasoline. After that I usually have around $300 -$400 a month that usually goes toward the renovations of our apartment building.
After looking at our budgets, we knew we couldn’t afford to set aside more than about $200-$250 a month each without really impairing on our lifestyle or potentially causing some financial trouble. We wanted to keep in mind that we’ll still want to do things like go out to dinner with friends, go to a movie or maybe take a day-trip every once in a while because it’s a good idea to relax and take your mind off of wedding planning (so I’m learning at least). Also – we’re saving up for a house. We could go ALL out and set aside $800 a month, but then we wouldn’t have money set aside for a down payment on a house – which in the long run – is much more important to both of us than really expensive flower arrangements.
Once we knew how much each month we could set aside (mostly for our legal ceremony, but for the handfasting too – just to see how far we can stretch our budget), I went into Excel and put together a worksheet of all the items we need to purchase (my dress, decorations etc.) and put in a budgeted amount for each item – that’s the “Estimated Cost” column. As we purchase items I add the actual cost into an adjascent column titled “Actual Cost” (and highlight the row so I know it’s purchased). That way we can keep track if we’re going over (or under!) on our budget and find out where we can splurge or where we can cut costs. For example: I budgeted $150 to buy patterns and fabric for my bridesmaids. I ended up only spending $80. That leaves me $7o that I can put somewhere else – like a port-o potty (something I had completely forgotten about beforehand) since our handfasting is going to be pretty much in the middle of the woods.
The extra money is important to have in case you run into unexpected costs (and you will) like emergency dress alterations, delivery/set-up fees, taxes and gratuity (which can total to nearly 30% of the original cost tacked on!). The best way to start getting an idea as to how much a particular item (or something like a venue) is going to cost is to call the vendor and see if packages are available (those are usually pretty good about giving good details on cost) and then make absolutely sure to ask about gratuity, cake cutting fees, tear-down/set-up fees, or any other fees that are not listed on the package (because chances are they won’t bill those costs until you receive the final bill the day of your wedding) and when payments are due. When possible – get a very clear contract with specific amounts and specific dates.
Another tip that has helped us immensely so far with our budget is utilizing the talents and generosity of our friends and family.
We are fortunate enough to have friends that are professional dj’s, photographers and have amazing skills at sewing and decorating. Our own skills are helpful too – I do a lot of work in the Adobe Suite at work and can design my own custom invitations and print them at home. They look like I paid over a $1k for them, but really – only $50 for paper and supplies. 
Chances are good you’ll have tons of friends that are willing to help out (if you ask nicely and provide pizza!) with things like assembling favors and invitations. Another way to cut down on costs is to email invitations to people who are technologically savvy (think friends from work and people who might not keep the invite in a scrapbook like your grandma might) in PDF format. There are also online services to email invites and save-the-date cards. www.smilebox.com is a good site for you techno-folk out there. You pay $5 and you can get your invites or save-the-dates ad free! Plus there’s music to choose from if you’d like to add it. (Emailing saves a ton of money on postage and is very green since you’re not printing a ton of cards). We’re planning on doing a mix of both – we’re emailing and handing out invitations. We’re snail-mailing a few, but only to our family and a few out-of-town friends.
Now, don’t get me wrong, if you’re on a budget for your wedding (which I would guess that’s the vast majority of us out there) everything does NOT have to be DIY. (Garry and I are just that special kind of crazy!) If you are on a budget, but don’t find yourself particularly crafty or don’t want to deal with the absolute and pure frustration of putting everything together – you can always go on sites like ebay or etsy and purchase what you need for a good deal. The goal here is to keep on the look out for good deals and to be open to ideas.
Dress to impress
Because I live in this mindset of making everything much more difficult than it needs to be (and because my budget for the handfasting is just about nil) I decided that my bridesmaids could make their dresses. One of them is an exceptional seamstress while the other two know their way around a sewing machine well enough to sew a simple dress.
When you look online or in stores – most bridesmaid-type dresses are at least $100. Just getting all three of them to go to a store and try on dresses would be difficult enough. One of my maids is pregnant (and delivering in the beginning of August!), another lives 3 hours away and the third does not like wearing dresses that are shorter than floor length. All of them have different body shapes, height you name it. Oh, and you know, we’re all kind of on tight budgets so asking my three friends to spend $100 or more on a dress that they might only wear once is asking a bit much – and I can’t afford $300 for dresses either. So sewing them ourselves became the best option.
The challenge is finding a style of dress that will flatter, very literally, every body type. Not only that – but pick a color that will flatter a variety of skin tones. My MOH doesn’t wear green well. One of my maids has fair skin (like me) and my other maid is fairly tan. I hadn’t picked colors yet and I would guess that it would all stem from what my bridesmaids will be wearing. My answer to the solution – purple.
I found a gorgeous fabric – a polyester shantung – at Joann Fabrics one day while I was bustling about and I came across this color
Photo from Joann.com
Isn’t it a gorgeous plum color? I fell in love with it! It’s a lovely rich plum color. It was a little more on the red side of purple than I wanted (I tend to gravitate toward more blue or grey purples myself) but I knew it would look beautiful on my maids. Think of pairing it with a gorgeous
And then it was time to pick a pattern.
So what shapes look good on just about every body type? What will also work as something that my maids could wear again after the handfasting and wedding? Empire lines work nicely, but it would have to depend on the pattern. I needed something with straps (or even sleeves) so that my maids can wear a supportive and comfortable bra and tasteful enough to wear to work, or some other function that requires a nice dress.
After scouring through the pattern websites I finally landed on this beauty:
Photo from Butterick.com
This dress was perfect! The straps are wide enough for a good supportive bra, it has a nice v-neck (but not too low). It’s an empire waist with an a-line skirt so it will flatter every body type and is incredibly forgiving. There are variations on this pattern, but I think all my maids are going with this option – only extending the skirt panels to ankle length.
I ordered the patterns (I already owned one version of the pattern that I made for myself to give it a test run on difficulty) and it cost me about $9 for two patterns on the website. It only took a few days to get to me as well. AND it was cheaper than going to a fabric store to purchase them outright.
The fabric I ordered about a week ago as well because if you ordered online (before June 12) there was a promo code for 40% off one item. If I ordered the fabric all in one bolt – well I would get 40% off the fabric. At $9.99/yd. originally and then down to only $5.99/yd I was saving around $40 on my dresses (I ordered 10 yards of 58″ fabric) figuring that would be enough for the three dresses.
On Saturday my fabric arrived and I was SO excited (and I was on my way to my friend’s baby shower so I figured I’d take it with me to show her) I tore open the box and…
it was the wrong color.
GRRR!
They sent me a color called medium purple. See, when I was in the store someone must’ve been following me and taking notes because I stood there trying to decide between the plum color (pictured above) and this color:
Photo from Joann.com
(My computer has the picture coming up as a heathered purple - although the website says it’s charcoal)
I liked how this purple was a little more on the blue/grey side but I wasn’t so sure how it would look on my maids. I decided to go with the plum because it was easier to see them liking that color.
I ended up with the color pictured above and while I was a little disappointed to get that color fabric (considering that’s not what I ordered) I wasn’t terribly upset since it was a color that I liked to begin with. Then I looked at the printout and it said that there were only 9 yards of fabric instead of 10. Great. Now I wouldn’t have enough to make all the dresses the appropriate length! I was NOT happy.
I took the fabric to my MOH’s mother’s house last night (we were having a picnic at her place and she’s sewing the dress for my MOH) and decided to measure it out and cut off my MOH’s share of the fabric.
Oddly enough the fabric was already cut into two pieces. The first piece was 4 yards. Great. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to measure out right. Then we measured the second bolt (thinking it would be 5 yards) but it was really 6 1/2 yards of fabric. So, I was sent 10 1/2 yards of fabric (only charged for 9), but in the wrong color – which really is a nice color anyway…
So I kept the fabric, gave my MOH the 4 yard bolt and I’ll pick up whatever isn’t used after the pattern is cut. Oh, and the total for fabric and patterns for 3 bridesmaids dresses? $80. Original budgeted amount? $150. (The maids are getting their own thread and a zipper)
The lesson I learned from all of this is sometimes the Universe has it’s own way of making some of these decisions for you and it’s best (at those times) to acknowledge it and hope for the best. I think it all worked out nicely.
