June 29, 2010
Breaking the news – part 2
Telling everyone we’re getting married is a little bizzare. Normally I’m the type of person that relishes in all the attention and general fussing-over that comes with this sort of thing, but there are some things that I’ve found really annoy me about breaking the news.
1. When people cry (and it’s not grandma).
2. When people hum the Bridal Chorus. *I loathe the Bridal Chorus.
3. When the barrage of questions come in (the where are you having it? did you pick colors yet?)
4. When they ask how he proposed. Um, yeah. Not going to go there.
5. When people immediately ask if they’re invited.
6. When people offer to plan your wedding for you. (My inner Martha says NO!)
7. When people immediately start giving you suggestions. (Unless I ask for them – or you’re name is David Tutera – I think I’m good)
8. When people say “Oh, yeah, don’t ask me for help – I’m too busy”
9. When people say “You’re getting married?” and it sounds like I am going to contract the plague.
10. When people act jealous.
What I’d really like is “Congratulations – if you need help with anything feel free to ask.” OR even just congratulations! Really, is it that hard? I guess it’s because we feel compelled to know every, single detail to live vicariously through that person because we’re secretly a little masochistic and either we don’t know or forget how stressful this really is. Luckily most of my good friends have been really supportive and have offered to help me with this, that and the other thing. I’m eternally grateful for that.
*Okay, so the Bridal Chorus. It is used in just about every wedding I’ve ever been to. Either that or Pachabel’s Canon. Yeah that annoys me to, but it’s not as easily hummed as the Bridal Chorus. I’m all about tradition (okay, well maybe not) - I can appreciate tradition, but I appreciate creativity more. That video of the people dancing down the aisle? GENIOUS! I wish I would’ve thought of that! I might see if we can get some sort of chant situation going when we’re all making our way down the aisle.
The imagery I associate it with (the Bridal Chorus) is nothing short of the patriarchy dominating over women and reducing them to nothing more than a peice of property to be handed to the next owner – you know, like buying a used car.
On top of that – when my brother and I were young my mom decided for a brief while she would make dolls. She bought these little buttons that when you pushed them they’d play music. Even as a kid, for one reason or another I couldn’t stand the Bridal Chorus. I don’t know why, but it just bothered me. Well my little brother took this as his opportunity to really grate on my last nerve and chased me around the house pushing the button of that damn thing playing the Bridal Chorus. Eventually we were fighting in my bedroom and somehow the little button broke, fell behind my bed (where I couldn’t get it) and continued to play non-stop only at a reduced speed and a little off.
I was FURIOUS!
My mother thought it was hysterical and she left it there for a while until she finally pulled the bed out and got the annoying little thing.
I hate the Bridal Chorus. I hate it I hate it I hate it!
Luckily my dear friends have agreed to play violin and flute at our ceremonies. YAY! That makes me a happy Amy.
Themes good to me…
Okay, I needed to throw a pun in there. Lack of (good) sleep and the humid temperatures are making me a little crazier than normal.
I’m still trying to figure out the venue situation. There’s a really nice water garden near where I live (actually it’s dead center between our hometown and most of Garry’s family) thath as a pavillion that seats 150.
We did our first draft of our invite list and we came up with 107. That’s good – we want it to be small enough to be manageable, but large enough to be a fun party.
It was a hard thing to do since I’m not close with the vast majority of my family. When I say I have a “small” family, it’s because I don’t know about all the cousins and extended family. We never lived near enough to them (nor were my parents particularly close with them either) to justify them being close family. We have 22 people that are considered “close family” and even within that there are people I rarely ever get to see or talk to.
So watching Garry fill out his “side” of the list (we’ve divided it into my family and personal friends, his family and personal friends and then our mutual pagan community friends to get a good idea of the balance) was a little disheartening when it was twice as long as my list. Granted I wasn’t planning on inviting a ton of people (most of my friends from high school and college I rarely talk to anymore so why invite them when they’re not a huge part of my life?) so I guess I shouldn’t be upset. I think because I know when my parents see the list they’ll be like “Why is he inviting so many more people than you?” and since they’re paying for it there might be an issue there.
But, more on that and the notion of “family politics” in another post.
Theme weddings. They’re something that could be really cool if done correctly and really awful if done wrong. There’s a fine line between good theme and bad theme and from what I gather, it’s all about subtlety.
So in other words, it doesn’t have to be like a passion play (damn!) or require that people dress up in costumes (although if you have people willing to do that it could be really fun – but really it’s only fun if everyone participates). A theme, I suppose in my interpretation, is something that will keep everything cohesive. I found a fantastic site yesterday www.elizabethanndesigns.com that does an excellent job of taking an idea and making it work without being too overbearing.
Also – the show My Fair Wedding (On We Network) shows how you can take a theme and get the idea across without being so blunt about it.
I started brainstorming theme ideas in my head. Garry and I have a pretty geeky background and group of friends. We like nature and camping. I like things that are Victorian, boho, kind of Midsummer Nights Dream (the naturey-fae part of the play) sort of thing. I think Garry will go along with whatever, but he’s definitely into fantasy and sci-fi novels (think Lord of the Rings kind of stuff). Somewhere in there, there’s a theme.
How do I put it all together on $5K? That, my friends, is the big question.
Lord of the Ring
One of the reasons I love Garry so much is because he is such a dork.
Yesterday my engagement ring was delivered to our local store and Garry went to go get it. He picked me up at work and then dropped me off at my second job (yeah – it’s really a drag) and went to go get it.
Of course I’m thinking “YAY! Now I get to wear it!” Nope. Not yet. Apparently Garry is stubborn enough (or stuck on tradition enough) to “formally” propose.
Which I still think is funny because it’s really kind of a moot point.
This, of course, kills me because he could’ve been all sneaky and said “Hey I have to run back to the house for a few minutes/drop something off at my friends/get a sandwich while you’re at the station” instead of “I’m going to go pick up your ring” Grr.
THEN because he is so not super sneaky, he said he was worried it wouldn’t fit. Um, the band fit fine and we ordered the same size so I’m guessing it will fit. We pull in the driveway and he said “No, I think I need you to try it on to make sure.”
So I stood there and closed my eyes while he practically twisted my arm around my back (so I couldn’t see incase I peeked – which I didn’t) slipped it on really quick, made sure it fit and then slipped it off.
*sigh*
THEN he went online and posted to Facebook that he was the Lord of the Ring.
What does that make me - Gollum?!?!?
Anyway, it was pretty funny. For someone who claims his totem to be a fox he is not very sneaky.
Speaking of elves, faeries and the like – our second annual Faerie Festival went really well this last weekend! (Garry and I worked at the event) We had a ton of people come and we really enjoyed the music, performers and the joust (I love a good joust!). At night we had a HUGE (although, for me it was too huge) drum circle.
I also found a fascniator for our handfasting! It’s an ivory lily with faerie hair attached. The company is Solstice Art and she makes really fabulous pieces! (I stood there a while and drooled over her headpieces before purchasing my clip)
I’m thinking of possibly having some smaller versions of mine made up for my maids (mine only cost $20 so I’m hoping she can make some smaller ones up for less). Could be interesting!
